Downright disrespectful lot, the poors. Why must they hate the rich? Why aren’t the captains of industry allowed to sip their champagne and eat their caviar fetter-free? With the weight of the world upon their shoulders, must they always need to shrug off the bitter attacks of the poors and their compulsive need to be supplied with cake?

The Hainan Rendez-Vous is just your normal, run-of-the-mill convention for the average Wang or Zhang to browse through this year’s new multi-million dollar collection of yachts and private jets. Held annually in Sanya, Hainan Province, the fledgling luxury exhibition managed to strike a nerve last year when rumors spoke of massive sex parties to which famous celebrities like Wang Xiaofei and Sun Xing were photographed having attended.

Those poor rich people. The indignant outrage of the internet would be galvanized and ignited by this decadent symbol of the rich like a divine match up in heaven. All related information that exposed the secret lifestyle of the rich and famous were ravenously consumed by the masses so that they can properly condemn the bourgeoise and their non-counterfeit LV handbags..

This year’s Hainan Rendez-Vous wrapped up on March 30, and already the condemnation by Chinese netizens was as heavy as the interest was rapt. Insider terms like “society girl”  (外围女) have long flooded the public consciousness because the average person needs to know the obscure term to call those people busy in the background of “Eyes Wide Shut”, just as there will be a term for hiring a jazz pianist to play two notes all night so long as he can pass the audition.

To drive up the hype, a reporter from Phoenix Entertainment went undercover in the inner circles of the Hainan Rendez-Vous in order to write an expose of its notorious sex culture. The report would insinuate a major Hong Kong entertainment company was behind the hiring of many of these society girls. This unnamed company would demand secrecy from these sex workers through non-disclosure agreements while party attendees would wear face masks to hide their identities yes just like that really boring movie again. All the same, the report did not provide any concrete proof or names, and there’s still no word as to whether or not Nicole Kidman got to say the last line.

Well, sanctimonious people of the internet: we hope you’re satisfied now. Everyone is so outraged at Hainan Rendez-Vous, and yet it wasn’t even held last week in Sanya, Hainan. Instead, someone else had stolen the name and held an event without the organizer’s consent. Meanwhile, the host of the event which is still called “Hainan Rendez-Vous” by everyone in China has in fact not denied the charges of prostitution, and are looking to cooperate with Hainan police in cracking down upon these “sex scandals” you’ve been hearing about.

Hainan Rendez-Vous (the actual organizers) insist that they have absolutely no connection to the nefariousness that was going on in Sanya, while the host of the Sanya event has insisted that any actual licentious and illegal activities that were going on were not officially sanctioned by this non-sanctioned organization that just happen to be rendez-vous (lowercase) in Hainan.

So everyone can stop being angry. Poors: your indignant outrage has been misdirected, this obviously must be some kind of mistake. With this many denials going on, one more counterfeit “Hainan Rendez-Vous” needs to be established so that all of these Matryoshka dolls may ride the kick back up to the waking world after hitting of the raw subconsciousness of Leo DiCapprio’s throbbing forehead.

And honestly, being angry is no way to amass a fortune. It just gets in the way of being greedy.

Photo: Hainan Rendez-Vous