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UK Expat Visits China, Marries Girl, Then Skips Town Without Her

Posted: 10/24/2014 9:30 am

backpack laowaiMiss Tan had a very simple dream: she wanted to leave China. When she married Mark, a UK national, she thought her dreams had come true. However, Mark had other plans.

Two years after getting married to Mark, Tan was forced to get a divorce after she spent the majority of their marriage by herself.

Tan met Mark online in July 2011, and the two met a year later when Mark came to visit her in China in November 2012. It must have been a good visit, because the two got married that same month.. Neither could communicate with each other well, and Tan later said she carelessly married Mark in order to leave China.

However, Mark left in December 2012 because his visa expired, leaving Tan, who lived in Liuzhou, on her own. Then the pair began fighting and holding grudges against each other, and grew distant

When seeking a divorce from Mark in June of this year, Tan ran into problems because her husband was not present. To process the divorce, the courts required Mark’s visa and marriage certificate.

However, Mark finally showed up and agreed to the divorce.

Tan was never able to fulfill her dream of leaving China. It is not known if she is now looking for foreigners for other opportunities.



Shenzhen woman urges Chinese to avoid marrying American men

Posted: 05/3/2012 5:59 pm

A Shenzhen woman who stood by a home-made sign warning Chinese women not to marry Americans has received more derision than sympathy from Chinese netizens.

Shu Ya stood by the sign at Shenzhen airport which contained a picture of her and her estranged American husband, beneath which was written the story of how he had cheated her “emotionally, financially, and sexually.”

The writing explains how after living in Shenzhen for many years she had developed an irrational love of foreigners. She met her husband in a bar in the city’s Nanshan District three years ago, and shortly after they decided to get married. She later discovered that he was extracting money from her salary to pay his debts back in America, and she had just flown back to China after expensive divorce proceedings in the country.

Shu Ya at the airport

However, the majority of comments under the Youku video through which the story became well-known have been negative about Shu’s actions. A netizen named Wansui Bairen joined hundreds of others in exclaiming huogai, which roughly means “serves her right.” A respondent named liop95 claimed that foreigners refer to Chinese women as “the sluts of the world,” and that she had got her comeuppance for failing to settle for a Chinese man.

Other commenters such as Wetao19810103 and Sorckey claimed that she is already “damaged goods” after being with a foreigner, and urged more foreigners to come and take such “trash” off China’s hands. Respondents such as Cailom derided her for generalizing, and gurui83 opined that her mistake was not to marry a foreigner, but to blame her husband for her own lack of caution.

Some netizens praised Shu, Bing Seng was one of dozens who expressed admiration of her courage, and the video shows that she drew a considerable crowd at the airport.

China has a notoriously mixed attitude toward marriages between Chinese and foreigners. In 2008, a female student at Shanghai Jiaotong University wrote an article explaining why her dream was to marry a foreigner. However, recent years have also seen hugely popular articles, such as “Chinese women, please don’t get into bed with foreigners,” by the wife of educator Yu Minhong.


“Mistress Festival” doesn’t go as planned; still yearn for respect

Posted: 03/5/2011 6:00 am

Mistresses in China (and there are many) are rising up: they are severing the shackles of disrespect and boldly yearning for acceptance. But it isn’t going so well.

Proud mistresses in China set up a so-called “Mistress Festival” online on March 3 to air their grievances and celebrate their profession. The date (3/3) is auspicious, because “Little Three” (小三) is often a nickname given to mistresses, given that they are the third party in the relationship. But when there’s an online gathering, you have to expect those who oppose your agenda might appear, such as, say, a wronged wife. And that’s what happened:

Things got off to a bad start when, in her introduction, an invited wife proclaimed her loyalty to her husband.

She was assailed by mistresses mocking her “loyalty” and teasing her by saying they would seduce her husband.

Other participants came to the defense of the beleaguered wife, criticizing the aggressive behavior of the mistresses.

As levels of abuse escalated and chaos reigned, the moderator was forced to warn participants to behave.

This is a hot topic in China, as mistresses seem to be as common as yangrou chuanr stands. The PRD, in particular, is a famous haven for mistresses in relationships with men from nearby Hong Kong and Taiwan. Unlike in the west, however, there appears to be less stigma for mistresses in China; they are almost accepted as an accessory if a man becomes successful enough to have earned one. Even wives will often look the other way, knowing their husbands are just “having fun” and wouldn’t leave the marriage.

So do mistresses deserve respect? There are very few professions that are as shameless; mistresses basically sell their good looks for a pseudo-relationship with a married man, which is only one degree removed from another famous profession. But from their perspective, they are just cashing in: if a man wants to pay a monthly salary, by Gucci handbags and set her up in a good apartment, why shouldn’t she accept? Beats working 9-5 in an office, right?

If you want to check out the website for the mistress festival, you can find it here in Chinese only.

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