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Top 10 Complaints Chinese Women Have About Their Foreign Boyfriends

Posted: 07/21/2014 5:20 pm
mixed race couple

File photo from 2002.

For some foreigners, seeking opportunity in China is tied to finding love. For these Chinese ladies, being in a cross-cultural relationships means they must show their love in a specific way: by complaining.

China Daily has compiled this list of the top complaints Chinese women have about their foreign boyfriends. Reportedly provided by an unidentified Pakistani national, the list does a good job of simplifying the cultural differences between China and the rest of the world into two distinct homogeneous globs so that we can better understand them both.

This list was originally published in Chinese, but with the term “you” used so often to denote the Western boyfriend, we thought it was necessary to bring it to a Western audience.

Here then are the top ten complaints a Chinese woman has about her foreign boyfriend:

1. You Don’t Help Me Carry My Bag!

The majority of foreign boyfriends fundamentally think that carrying their girlfriend’s handbag is not masculine at all. However, this is the most common request of a Chinese girlfriend. Chinese girlfriends often put unnecessary things that are of no use into their handbags just so their boyfriends can help them carry it. And, foreign boyfriends don’t tend to carry bags (of their own) when they go out.

2. You Don’t Talk to Me Often Enough!

Chinese girlfriends often require you to communicate with them everyday: to call or text them them two to three times a day in order to show them you care. This is something that won’t change. Therefore, if you want to date them for a while, you must adapt to this.

3. You Don’t See Me Often Enough!

If you don’t see your girlfriend often enough, she will think that you are selfish. If you haven’t done what a Chinese girl wants you to do, she will think you are selfish. They will not miss any opportunity to criticize you for being selfish. However, the term “selfish” is not as serious of a complaint to foreigners. They (in all of their hundreds of cultures) think that being called “selfish” is very normal. This is not the case at all for Chinese people.

4. Stop Spending So Much Time With Your Friends!

Sometimes, Chinese girlfriends will complain that they don’t like your friends. However, that’s not the whole story: all they want is for you to spend less time with your friends so that you can spend more time with your girlfriend. They want a to live in a world with just the two of you, and not go out and see friends.

5. Why Don’t You Take Me Out With You to the Bars?

Whenever you go out to the bar, she’ll often complain that you don’t take her out with you. She will use every reason to criticize you for not taking her with you. She’ll say that you don’t like her being in a bar because she wants you to always remain by her side.

6. No Sense of Fashion

She wants you to dress according to what she thinks. Fashion styles in China are completely different from those of other countries and with which is difficult to comply, so ready yourself to confront this type of complaint day and night.

7. You Don’t Understand Chinese Culture!

Your Chinese girlfriend will often say that you need to learn Chinese culture better. 

8. Eat More!

It sounds very strange to hear, but is a fact: Chinese girlfriends will recommend you to “eat more healthily”. A Chinese proverb is “eating more is eating healthy”. They are following this rule to the letter, and take along their boyfriends for the ride.

9. Don’t Eat So Much!

Sooner or later you’ll start to eat more, but then you’ll begin to hear another complaint: you’re eating too much. Your Chinese girlfriend will tell you that you should start to eat less because it’s better for your health. All of a sudden, the aforementioned Chinese proverb and perspective will change.

10. Shopping

Finally, Chinese girlfriends will complain that you don’t take them out to go shopping. It’s true! They’re correct. Remember to take her shopping, but only go window shopping. She wants to go strolling with you. Sometimes, she’ll want you to spend a little money. Not long after spending it, she will say, “I had previously thought you to be selfish, but now you’ve shown me you aren’t.”

Photo: China Daily


African Expats Fight to Stay in Guangzhou as Policies Tighten

Posted: 07/18/2014 11:39 am

african communityWhile many expatriates from African countries have succeeded in business in Guangzhou, Chinese policies are making it more difficult for them, and other foreigners, to continue the lives they’ve made for themselves in China.

African countries are being courted by Chinese officials who insist, “China wants to engage every African country as an equal.” However, that sentiment doesn’t seem to be afforded to the residents of these countries.

Last year, the Chinese central government passed the Exit-Entry Administration Law that now requires expats to return to their home nations to renew their visas instead of doing so at intermediary destinations like Hong Kong. Jenni Marsh from the South China Morning Post recently detailed how this policy is impacting the African expat community in Guangzhou. While many people Marsh interviewed plan to return to their home countries in Africa, many others are resolved to carve out a long-term existence in Guangzhou.

The African community has galvanized and fought for longer visa extensions by proving how much they have given back to their newly-adopted city. As a result, visas procured by members of the African community can range from around three months to three years, depending upon the individual’s personal circumstances. And yet, a double standard remains as a Guinean trader named Cellou complained, “If my [Chinese] wife stays in Guinea she can get a Guinea passport.”

africantown guangzhou african africa chineseEven before the Exit-Entry Administration Law was passed last year, the African community in Guangzhou was already under pressure with the Guangdong Act of 2011. The Act rewards people who snitch on those who overstay their visas, forbids illegal immigrants to work or study, and gives any police officer the authority to stop foreigners to verify their passports. A Ugandan told Lan Shanshan, a research assistant professor at Baptist University:

“A visa is not a 100 per cent guarantee here. When police stop you, if you do not look like a pleasant person to them, they may draw the line on your visa and cancel it. They say, ‘China gives, China takes.’”

While staying in China may be difficult for African expats, they have still found a way to improve their odds: by marrying a Chinese wife. Linessa Lin Dan, a PhD student at the Chinese University of Hong Kong, said many African expats will marry a Chinese wife for business reasons.

“Opening a shop is very difficult for foreigners,” she says. “You need a Chinese passport or the landlord will ask for a bribe. A Chinese wife can speak to suppliers. It’s useful to have a Chinese partner.

“Many Chinese women want to marry Africans because they are from poor rural areas, often Hunan or Hubei provinces. Marrying a foreigner is a way to upgrade their social status, because the Africans have money.”

This sentiment is seconded by Pat Chukwuonye Chike:

“That is my sacrifice,” says the married father-of-two. “My wife cannot cook. My mother-in-law helps look after the children, and she is poisoning them against Africa. She’s an old woman, she knows the game she’s playing. There is crisis everywhere–terrorists were in Guangzhou last week–it is a sin to make my children scared of Nigeria.”

But perhaps the biggest problem facing the African community of Guangzhou is how to deal with mixed-race children. These kids are born predominantly to an African father and a Chinese mother and are caught between cultures. Chinese immigration policies threaten to separate those families.

While the one-child policy does not include foreigners, Africans are subject to the policy even though they do not qualify for Chinese citizenship. Furthermore, these mixed-race children risk being marginalized by a classification system that does not recognize “mixed-race” as an option.

Even the local media treatment has been mixed:

Lan Shanshan, a research assistant professor at Baptist University, claims there is a media edict on the mainland to report favourably on Africans in China, hence the state-owned newspaper Guangming Daily’s three-part special titled “Friends From Africa, How are You Doing in Guangzhou?”, in 2012.

africantown guangzhou african africa chineseAnd yet, we’ve seen pictorials by the People’s Daily that insinuate an unidentified African person to be an illegal immigrant, while news reports flat out finger the African community as the source of blame for the drug woes currently plaguing China.

Regardless, it is becoming more difficult everyday for an African expat to stay in China.

Photo:, the  Nanfang

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