The Nanfang / Blog

Guangdong Anti-Smoking Campaign Compares a Penis to a Gun

Posted: 05/26/2014 5:30 pm

anti smoking campaignIf you’re not familiar with reading Chinese, you may see the above graphic and think, “Oh, it must be a factoid about guns or gun violence.” And why not? It has a gun with the barrel bent down, and the statistic of “40%”, so it’s only reasonable to assume there must be a correlation between all these things.

However, that’s not what the graphic says. Translated from Chinese, this is what’s written:

Smoking Leads to Male Impotence

People who smoke more than one pack a day
will be more at risk
than non-smokers
by more than

Maybe the cultural divide is still too great and the message still isn’t getting through, so we’ll bluntly put it this way: this anti-smoking campaign is comparing men’s penises to a gun, and that smoking will reduce the effectiveness of your substitute killing machine by causing your rigid, burly barrel to go limp.

Just as guns must have straight barrels to shoot out their bullets, we are shown this metaphor that the penis must also remain virile to shoot out its sperm in the proper direction. I mean, just look at those wiggle lines drawn next to the wilting barrel—you don’t want wiggle lines next to your penis, do you?

This graphic was published on the Weibo account of the Southern Metropolis Daily and was accompanied by several fascinating bits of trivia to educate the Guangdong public against the dangers of cigarettes.

For example, quiz yourself with these interesting facts:

  • A study of 7,345 junior high school students showed that 9.9% of all respondents had been exposed to cigarette smoke, thus diminishing the capacity of their developing guns
  • Male students were five times more susceptible to smoking than female students
  • Experts warn that the low cost of cigarettes is boosting the trend of smoking among adolescents, and recommend raising the price in order to help protect gun caches in pants across the nation

Strangely, the NF Daily article linked to by the Weibo post is about adolescent cigarette use and has nothing to do with male impotence, guns or a Robert Rodriguez-type hybridization of the two, leading us to wonder where this gun metaphor came from.

We can only hope that an epidemic of “limp barrels” does not afflict the population of China because there clearly isn’t enough endangered tiger penis and rhinoceros horn to help heal all the crooked shooters in China.

Photos: Southern Metropolis Daily via Weibo


Earphone Wire Surgically Removed From Shenzhen Man’s Urinary Tract

Posted: 05/22/2014 7:09 pm

earphone holderWhen a 32 year-old Shenzhen man named Luo came seeking treatment for a urinary tract infection, he didn’t tell them everything at first. It took a while, but Luo finally told doctors the reason why he was in so much pain: Luo had stuck an earphone wire into his urethra, and it got stuck inside his body.

Xu Chang, Vice-Head of Urology at the Shenzhen Shuguang Hospital, stated Luo had been suffering from numerous urinary tract infections. Unable to tolerate the pain, Luo was recommended to stick an earphone wire into his penis and up into his bladder to remove the obstruction by a friend as a “home remedy”.

Luo tried this procedure several times, but last month he was not careful and the wire entered his bladder and got lost within his body.

On the afternoon of May 21, a 20 minute minimally invasive surgery was able to remove 45 cm of wire from Luo’s body. By this time, the wire had already tangled itself around a urinary tract stone.

We’re going to go with the doc on this one, who said:

Using an earphone wire to clear an obstruction in your urinary tract is complete nonsense. If there is an inflammation of any kind, you should visit a reputable hospital to receive medical treatment.

Sounds like good medical advice. We don’t recommend you do this either, but should you impossibly reject the words of Deputy Department Head of Urology, we would only hope that your playlists be rocking out with suitable soundtrack that consists of:

  • anything by Steely Dan
  • Peter Gabriel, “Sledgehammer
  • Led Zeppelin, “Moby Dick” (for the drum solo, man, though The Lemon Song would do as well)
  • Bull Moose Jackson, “Big Ten Inch
  • Whitesnake, Greatest Hits
  • entire discography of ZZ Top
  • and everything else recorded after 2002

Photo: diytrade


Shenzhen man gets a life-saving skin graft from the most unique of locations

Posted: 04/1/2013 2:00 pm

When somebody suffers severe burns on large portions of their body, it’s important to do a skin graft as quickly as possible.  Serious burns can lead to organ failure.

That was the case for one man in Shenzhen, named Yang Qinjie.  He was severely burned in an accidental dust explosion in October last year.  The burns were so bad, doctors said it covered 98% of his body.  As such, he was in serious need of a skin graft, according to media reports.

Doctor Xie Lihua at Shenzhen Number Two People Hospital found there were only two places on Yang’s body that had escaped serious burns: his scalp, and his penis.

Xie, of course, turned to the scalp first. He scissored some of the skin and soaked it in salt water. Only 1% of skin can cover 10% of the burned area. Furthermore, the skin can easily expand evenly. But it turned out using his scalp was not enough, so Doctor Xie finally sought the last straw –Yang’s penis.

Comparatively speaking, skin on the penis does not recover as fast as the skin on the scalp. Thus, it can only be taken bit by bit.  Fortuntately, it is said that skin in Yang’s most burned areas has grown well and he’ll be able to leave the hospital next month.

“This is a medical miracle,” President Cai Zhiming of Shenzhen Number Two People Hospital said. “The patient was burned over 98% of his body, but still survived. This is a rare case in medical history in China.” The hosipital has taken Yang’s blood sample and secretion specimens to study the changes in his immune system in order to try and duplicate the process on other patients. They also are hoping to build a Burn Research Institute to deal with more cases.


Shenzhen dad bites off his son’s penis in a fit of rage

Posted: 03/9/2012 9:44 am

When it comes to the most bizarre stories that we’ve posted on The Nanfang, this one might take the cake.

Local media reported that a man bit off his 6-year old son’s penis while on a walk with his son and daughter at around 10am on Wednesday.


We’ll let the Shanghai Daily explain:

Witnesses said the father, 32, was taking the boy and his four-year-old sister, all naked, for a walk in the street. He asked the boy to bite his penis and when the boy refused, he attacked him.

When people realized what had happened, they rushed to rescue the boy who was already screaming with blood gushing out of his crotch. They nailed down the father to the ground and picked up the penis that was thrown into the shrubs.

Police detained the father and the boy was rushed to a hospital. The girl was later picked up by her relatives.

The father is described as a ‘farmer’ who is divorced from the mother of his children.  Witnesses said he appeared to be ‘mentally ill’ while out with his children, probably because they were all oddly naked in a public street.  His neighbours also described him as acting abnormally recently, noting he was seen pretend-strangling his son a few days before.

As for the boy, doctors say he may never fully recover normal use of his penis.

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