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Viral Video of the Day: No-Hands Pants Dance Is the New “Deal With It”

Posted: 07/1/2014 10:47 am

no hands pants dance final countdownPeople of the internet: today is an excellent day not just because it’s the 93rd anniversary of the Communist Party of China, nor the 17th anniversary of the handover of Hong Kong back to China, but because the Chinese internet has been blessed by receiving what hopes to be the start of its very own “Deal with it” meme.

Youtube user “Had Enough?” has a comedy channel where he recently published the following video. In it, he miraculously puts on pants without using his hands:

We’ve seen GIFs of “Had Enough?”‘s exceptional ability, but the real appreciation comes with the epic background accompaniment of Final Countdown as he stretches his hands in preparation.

no hands pants dance final countdown

While we stare slack-jawed in amazement at the 1% who put their pants on both legs at a time, we should keep in mind that this video is a challenge to everyone who watches it. The title at the beginning reads:

The Highest Level of Competition Between Rivals
in “The Putting on of the Pants”

Also used as the title for the movie The Prestige, “The Highest Level of Competition Between Rivals” is a series of Youtube shorts in which “Had Enough?” completes silly feats, and then issues a challenge, seen here at the end of the video.

Putting on pants without using hands: can you?

no hands pants dance final countdownUpon success, “Had Enough?” adopts a kung-fu pose as Final Countdown starts up again. At this point, pixelated sunglasses that float down from above seems so millennial.

no hands pants dance final countdown

no hands pants dance final countdown

Related:

Photos: screenshots from Youtube

Haohao
Haohao

Weekend Gallery: Defend Your Homeland by Using Your Leg as a Gun [UPDATED]

Posted: 06/14/2014 2:17 pm

foot gun chinese internet meme national defense

Weekend Gallery is your weekly compilation of photos from around the Chinese internet.

UPDATE 8pm July 16: As pointed out by Quartz, the entire “leg gun” meme can be traced to prolific attention-getter Ai Weiwei as seen on his Instagram account.

Ai had earlier shared a photo from the ballet Red Detachment of Women (seen at the very end of this post), and is the likely inspiration for this meme.

Ai hasn’t been clear as to what the “leg gun” meme originally signified, but it appears Ai’s creation has now come to occupy a similar spot as the “shootering” military meme in which users mimicked workers on the new Chinese Liaoning aircraft carrier signalling jets to take off: as a symbol of national pride and sovereignty.

***

A bunch of internet users in China have been photographed pretending to use their legs as guns in the latest internet meme to hit the country.

 READ: Understand Spoken Chinese Commands When
a Cop is Pointing a Gun at You

If you’re wondering who is on the other end of these leg guns, this registered Weibo user explained it this way:

Ever since society and work (internet) circles have invented the wonderful use of the “leg gun”, the result has been significant! Everyone is learning this in order to defend our country. It appears that through the use of this heavenly trick, chengguan are resisting forcible tear downs, while national defense is dealing with Japan, the Philippines, and Vietnam. Come and practice, everyone! Vigilant dancing aunties of the public plazas of the capital with your red sleeves: you too must practice with us!

Our only disappointment is that with such a display of lethal feet and footwear, no stilettos are to be found.

foot gun chinese internet meme national defensefoot gun chinese internet meme national defense

READ: Five Injured When Police Handgun Goes Off at
Kindergarten Safety Demonstration

foot gun chinese internet meme national defensefoot gun chinese internet meme national defense

READ: Guangdong a Hotbed of Guns in China

foot gun chinese internet meme national defensefoot gun chinese internet meme national defensefoot gun chinese internet meme national defense

READ: Armed Police to Keep Foshan Gaokao Exams Quiet From Dancing Grannies

foot gun chinese internet meme national defensefoot gun chinese internet meme national defensefoot gun chinese internet meme national defense

And now, the ladies:

foot gun chinese internet meme national defensefoot gun chinese internet meme national defense

READ: Guangdong Anti-Smoking Campaign Compares a Penis to a Gun

foot gun chinese internet meme national defensefoot gun chinese internet meme national defensePhotos: Dongguan Times, Renren Net, China Weekly

Haohao

Chinese Meme “No Zuo No Die” Laughs in the Face of Reason

Posted: 05/21/2014 7:44 pm

no zuo no dieThe culmination of decades of English language training in China has brought us to this point: a massive online meme that can be appreciated by Chinese English students, and only by Chinese English students.

No zuo no die” is a meme on the Chinese internet that only gets better as it continues to make less sense. Originally a Chinese phrase that meant “If you don’t look for trouble, you won’t find any”, the phrase was half-translated over to Chinglish where it retained one of its Chinese characters in pinyin.

Then, things could only get funnier in the same way a deceased horse can be slightly bruised in a variety of fashions..

urban dictionary chinese internet slang entries cultural validationA media buzz surfaced when several Chinese phrases were published in the Urban Dictionary. Online media saw the admission of “no zuo no die” along with “you can you up, no can no bb” and “zhuangbility” as “deserving of applause” for having “invaded a US online dictionary”. Even the People’s Daily boldly said, ”English speakers may soon be saying “you can you up, no can no bb” in response to criticism.”

Are you ready for “no zuo no die”? Because it’s ready for you.

The latest transformation of this meme is into a set of English lyrics that can be sung with a bunch of songs and TV show themes that include “Doramon”, “Sparkling Red Star”, “The Little Girl Who Picked Mushrooms”, “Only Mother Knows Best”, “The Most Dazzling Ethnic Customs”, “I Love Beijing Tiananmen”, and the Mozart hit “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”.

The English lyrics go like this:

No zuo no die, why you try
No try, no high, give me five
Why try, why high, can be shine
You shine, you cry, you still go die
No zuo no die, don’t be shy
You shy, you die, you can try
Keep try, keep shine, love that guy
But he only say good night

Whaaa? Still don’t know what to make of these English words of which you are a fluent speaker? Here’s a video using the above lyrics to sing a variety of TV show themes:

Take a bow, English teachers of China: your hard work forging the minds of tomorrow has all come to this point.

Photo: Meilishuo

Haohao

Guangdong Man Jailed Ten Years for Spying Via Internet Browser

Posted: 05/6/2014 10:11 am

Holy crap: anything that you see and watch can get you in trouble in China. Even if it is non-privileged information. Even if it is your own information.

A Guangdong national surnamed Li has been convicted of espionage and sentenced to 10 years in prison for disclosing state secrets to a foreign spy, reported state media.

When we first heard this story we didn’t think too much of it. After all, we expats are having too much fun to be concerned with espionage. But the details of the story started to hit home once it was revealed that the spy material deemed as ”state secrets” came straight from the internet.

This is how the spooks worked: a foreign spy only known by the online handle “Feige”, (“Brother Fly”?) had Li funnel him military information taken from subscriptions to websites such as a military enthusiasts community accessible only from mainland China. In all, Feige organized 12 people in Guangdong and some 40 other people throughout China to gather this information for him.

If you thought espionage was performed by the likes of James Bond or Jason Bourne you’d be grossly inaccurate. Feige’s online operation of a human RSS feed was termed a “foreign spy ring” by China Daily.

Just by using the internet, Li was able to obtain 13 highly classified documents ranked at the second-highest tier of secrecy in China, and 10 classified military secrets from the third tier. By standing near military bases with a camera to help Feige monitor them, Li posed “a serious threat to the country’s military security”.

Wow. We’d perhaps suggest not publishing sensitive military information on websites, but then only foreign shows like The Big Bang Theory get banned online.

We’d also suggest that expats not gather sensitive military information when browsing on the internet (stick to porn), nor watch the many fine military-themed shows on Chinese state television that tell us how great the Chinese military is, nor watch locally made versions of Top Gun and Apollo 13 with Chinese characteristics that espouse the greatness of the Chinese air force and space program via a multi-generational family melodrama, nor even to take part in the viral meme of pointing off-screen with your back to the camera that celebrates China’s new aircraft carrier.

And if you thought that paying for privileged information means that you own it, the New York Times reminds us otherwise (emphasis added):

Chinese courts have sometimes ruled that materials readily available within the country can be considered classified. Xue Feng, a Chinese-born American petroleum geologist, was sentenced to an eight-year prison term in 2010 for buying a database that his lawyers said was made secret only after Mr. Xue purchased it for IHS Energy, a consulting firm based in the United States.

For our part, the Nanfang will continue to provide its readership only the best of China’s declassified content.

Photo: Kym-Cdn

Haohao

Media Backlash Against “Flip Kiss” Meme Means More Fail to Enjoy

Posted: 04/22/2014 3:29 pm

flip kiss stir fry internet meme stunt youth When we first brought to you news of the flip kiss (back when we over-zealously called it the “kiss stir fry”), we saw this internet meme as the perfect two second GIF that can be enjoyed by Chinese and Westerners alike.

Since then, however, the flip kiss has received a media backlash for being a danger to impressionable youth. Caijing has reported that injures sustained from the flip kiss include damages to cervical vertebrae. China.com published pictures of victims with head injuries along with warnings from police and fitness experts. Sina pleaded with the public, “Don’t put your life on the line as a way to show off your conjugal love!”

Still, that hasn’t had a deterrent upon those who want to show their love via the flip kiss. While some places are showing you step-by-step instructions on how to correctly perform it, we thought we would showcase all the instances of flip kissing gone wrong—as a way to deter impressionable young people who must copy social trends, of course.

Click here to see how the flip kiss is properly executed; otherwise, watch the gallery below consisting of people being dropped on their heads:

flip kiss stir fry internet meme stunt youthflip kiss stir fry internet meme stunt youthflip kiss stir fry internet meme stunt youthflip kiss stir fry internet meme stunt youthflip kiss stir fry internet meme stunt youthflip kiss stir fry internet meme stunt youth

[The caption in the last GIF reads, "The class monitor is coming!"]

Photos: Weibo (1, 2, 3, 4)

Haohao

Watch This: The “Kiss Stir Fry”, Your Chinese Internet Meme of the Day

Posted: 04/18/2014 11:29 am

Finally, a Chinese internet viral trend that Westerners can enjoy! Introducing, the “kiss stir fry“. This meme is so new that it doesn’t have an actual name yet, so we’re going to call it that until planking makes a resurgence on the mainland.kiss stir fry flip kiss meme china chinese youth

 

It looks like a variation upon an aerial lindy hop move, or perhaps a bobby sox that has caught up to the fast times of modern Chinese society. We surmise that the kiss stir fry will be big in China for these reasons:

  1. It’s an excuse to kiss for a society that frowns upon public displays of attention
  2. Like buying a house before marriage, it’s an established fact that all physical relations must be justified beforehand with work
  3. Though there is a lot of gender inter-mixing going on, this stunt reinforces gender roles: the man is strong, and the woman has dieted
  4. Upon starting the stunt, (with your head in someone else’s crotch), you’re committed to performing a kiss and upon completion; girls will be able to retain all titles of chastity as a result

 

Since this is a stunt, the kiss stir fry is actually much more enjoyable when it doesn’t succeed.

kiss stir fry stunt meme china chinese youth

To try to keep down loading times on this page, here are the rest in the gallery:

Photos: Guangzhou Daily Weibo account

Haohao

Guangzhou Expats Get Embroiled in Cross-Straits Tea Leaf Egg Feud

Posted: 04/3/2014 8:24 am

Taiwan students might be busy sitting out in front of the government building protesting a trade pact with China, but their Chinese counterparts are fuming over a controversy involving the tea leaf egg, a hard-boiled brownish egg flavored with tea leaves, soy sauce and other herbs.

It all started a few days ago when a comment from a Taiwan TV commentator surfaced online. The commentator said most Chinese can’t afford to eat a tea leaf egg, a popular snack in the Greater China region that normally costs around one renminbi ($0.16). The comment was seen by Chinese as a proof of wide misconceptions held by Taiwanese toward China, which has paddled out of Mao’s protracted poverty to become an economic powerhouse.

Netizens from China’s social media went along with the too-poor-for-a-tea leaf egg comment and pretended to revere the egg as the new symbol of wealth. A Weibo user named Ok-lee wrote: “My mother sold all her jewelry and dowry, and my father sold his house and even asked for a bank loan to buy me this tea leaf egg. How can I ever repay my parents!”

Now even foreigners have decided to join the cross-strait feud.

Three laowai in Guangzhou, all dressed in eye-catching traditional Chinese garb, were seen giving away free tea leaf eggs to local residents outside of a MTR station in Guangzhou on April 1, 21CN reported.

While freely giving away the eggs to passers-by, one expat promoted the eggs in standard Mandarin by saying: “A single tea leaf egg is worth five phones, five iPhones, and a BMW. All of that is worth this (holds up a tea leaf egg).” (The video can be watched here.)

 

Home page and content page credit: Guangdong TV 

 

Haohao
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